5. April 2004, 23:59

Dear Viv,

I haven't forgotten your today's birthday as you might have thought. Not at all!

But I just think you don't care very much about, if I would congratulate or if I would not. Am I right? You haven't really expected anything from me, have you? Well, but this isn't a big problem, actually. There are times of beginnings and times of endings in life.

You can be glad I have begun to forget you. I am thinking of you not very often anymore. Maybe sometimes at nights in some fantasies, if you know, what I mean. But even that has become rarer and rarer in the last months.

During the few moments of remembering I always wonder and I am surprised about myself, how I could feel like I have felt. You always said, it is a big difference between a person in chat and in reality. And you were absolutely right with that, at least when it comes to you. (But it is right the contrary with the person we both know.)

I wanna tell you something: The last attraction you have lost for me, when I was in Riga. Not only that there was this other person next to you, who has shined so bright that everything and everyone have faded away, who was surrounding her. There also were those looks of you - you know which I mean. You know you could kill with your looks like arrows.

You always looked at me like I would be shit, and I am sure you thought at these moments, I am shit. And I wanna say you this: I even also thought at these moments I am shit!

I was really surprised, when I have learnt you have a brother. I always thought you were a single child. Always got everything you want from mum and dad; never have to and never learnt to share anything with other ones.

I want to give you an advice, although I know you don't want it from me and although you think you don't need it from me - from a "natural born loser". It can be fun to share anything with someone. It can make you feel better, if you do something the other one wants. It can make you happier to see you have done something, which makes the other one happier, makes him smile, makes him laugh...

Okay, I better stop now. I already see your eyes turning up to the ceiling...

Желаю всего хорошего!

Всего доброго!

Большое счастье!


Your

"Virtual Fucker"