11. April 2004, 23:59

Today I have found something really funny, which might be of interest to you, too.

It's an old certificate of the so-called "District Olympic Games in Russian Language". There stands I have attended it "c очень хорошим успехом".

It was the 3rd place of all schools of the whole district. I was really surprised that day and therefore very proud of it.

9. April 2004, 23:59

I had to suffer yesterday a lot!

They wanted to watch on TV first "Titanic" and right after it "Notting Hill"!

Help!


;-)

7. April 2004, 23:59

So, I will leave Berlin over the Easter-weekend.

My brother-in-law has a new car now, because his old one was stolen some months ago. I use this opportunity and accompany him and his family to my parents. Well, no stress with cooking and like this...

So, there will be talking with the brother-in-law, arguing with sister, discussing with mother, listen to the father, teasing the kids, playing games with all of them.

But first of all laughing all together a lot!


By the way, is there Easter also in Latvia? In Germany is the Friday and the Monday before and after Easter Sunday a public holiday.
And is there also the tradition like in Germany to hide eggs and presents for the children and they have to find them then?

5. April 2004, 23:59

Dear Viv,

I haven't forgotten your today's birthday as you might have thought. Not at all!

But I just think you don't care very much about, if I would congratulate or if I would not. Am I right? You haven't really expected anything from me, have you? Well, but this isn't a big problem, actually. There are times of beginnings and times of endings in life.

You can be glad I have begun to forget you. I am thinking of you not very often anymore. Maybe sometimes at nights in some fantasies, if you know, what I mean. But even that has become rarer and rarer in the last months.

During the few moments of remembering I always wonder and I am surprised about myself, how I could feel like I have felt. You always said, it is a big difference between a person in chat and in reality. And you were absolutely right with that, at least when it comes to you. (But it is right the contrary with the person we both know.)

I wanna tell you something: The last attraction you have lost for me, when I was in Riga. Not only that there was this other person next to you, who has shined so bright that everything and everyone have faded away, who was surrounding her. There also were those looks of you - you know which I mean. You know you could kill with your looks like arrows.

You always looked at me like I would be shit, and I am sure you thought at these moments, I am shit. And I wanna say you this: I even also thought at these moments I am shit!

I was really surprised, when I have learnt you have a brother. I always thought you were a single child. Always got everything you want from mum and dad; never have to and never learnt to share anything with other ones.

I want to give you an advice, although I know you don't want it from me and although you think you don't need it from me - from a "natural born loser". It can be fun to share anything with someone. It can make you feel better, if you do something the other one wants. It can make you happier to see you have done something, which makes the other one happier, makes him smile, makes him laugh...

Okay, I better stop now. I already see your eyes turning up to the ceiling...

Желаю всего хорошего!

Всего доброго!

Большое счастье!


Your

"Virtual Fucker"

2. April 2004, 17:20

I am ill! :'-(

I have again caught a cold. Seems, it wasn't as warm and spring as I already thought.
It began as always yesterday with terrible throat soar. And today, of course, additionaly terrible headache and a "full nose"...

And how are you? A rather looong time ago I have heard anything from you. You broke your promise --> What has happened last Monday? You said, you wanted to report at that day! :-P And what about yesterday, that "glorious" April, 1st? :-P

P.S. By the way, I wouldn't mind, if you talk to me on Yahoo, when that very rare opportunity occurs that we both are online. Like it was today at about 14.45 hours. Well, actually I don't know you as shy, that you hurry to leave Yahoo right when I was connecting to it. You know, you don't have to be frightening of me ;-) Or has this meant anything different? I don't hope so!

26. März 2004, 16:33

Dreams

...

I am in Riga, in some kind of a cellar-restaurant. It is rather dark there and full of smoke. I sit at a long table with a lot of friends of yours, but it seems, you are not here. I cannot recognize you. But I also cannot recognize the faces of your friends. Maybe because I don't (dare?) look at their faces or they simply don't have any faces. They talk and talk, I am not able to understand, what about. A friend of yours come to me and talk to me, but I don't understand him. But it sounds not friendly. I feel, this is a rather dangerous situation...I am frightening a bit.

...

I am at my old home. In my old children's room. I sit at the table and read some paper. In that paper there is a picture like the Yahoo-Messenger window. Two friends are named there as same as in real, both in bold but with different nicknames than in reality. But no one talks to me, although I wished it very much.

Suddenly you enter the room. Without any word or greeting you go straight to the other side of the table and sit down there. I look at you all the time, but you don't talk to me. I wanted to talk anything, but I am simply not able to do so. Now you look at me, too, but you still don't talk to me. Inside me I cry, I scream - but I cannot do anything!

...

22. März 2004, 03:29

And what about this?

Does this look better?

:-P

18. März 2004, 16:42

FINALLY!

SPRING HAS COME HERE TOO!




I grabbed the bicycle and have gone through the sunny city for some hours. I was enjoying the little summer breathe in the air. I have really been longing for warmer temperatures, so there is the opportunity again to go outside. - But the rain will return on the weekend?! :-S

11. März 2004, 19:55

Last night I finished to read the book "Oblomov" by Ivan Goncharov. I couldn't stop to read, so it became 5 am, when I finally read the last words of the novel.

But what a novel! I still cannot believe it! This is one of the best literature, I ever have read!

I cannot believe, this novel was written already over 140 years ago and the author has already known so much about me. Yes, if you wanna know something more about me, about my habit, about my view at the world and at the life, then read this book! I cannot remember, when and whether ever a book led to such reactions, such emotions in me at all.

I especially liked the two first parts of the book, which in the personality of Oblomov is described and how he overcomes his passivity and lazy lifestyle, when he has found and noticed his love to a woman. His one and only love in his entire life, but consequently a tragic love, which has allowed only one single kiss. If you want, so you could notice some similarities to the present time. That's quite unbelievable.

The end was rather sad, but that's was unavoidable, I guess. But you know, I don't like stories with happy-ends very much, because in my opinion, stories with happy-ends are not true. In my point of view, life has no happy-end.

While reading it, I really became angry and jelous, because Oblomov's friend got all the pleasure and happiness Oblomov tried to reach and eventually failed. Is this fair? Well, but actually it was mainly his own fault. But a character is hardly to change.

In some critics is said, that this novel shows and describes typically the so-called "Russian soul". I don't know. maybe, maybe not - But Man, there so much of me in it, too!

I love that novel!

10. März 2004, 20:11

Yesterday I have begun again to help my nephew to improve his English. So, every Tuesday I will now go to him.

But I am not sure, whether this will help. His English is even worse than my Russian, and you know, what this means. The last test he wrote wasn't as good, although we have practised the day before.

And as I have learnt he will go with his class to England this summer for one or two weeks to a English family. Oh my god! This will never work! Well, but he has at least his hands and legs to communicate...